Whenever I tell people how old I was when I got married I can almost see the panic in their eyes as they think of a response. They usually say something along the lines of “You go, girl,” “Wait you were how old??” or just straight up “Holy crap that’s young.” People are actually pretty nice about it, but it’s great entertainment watching people struggle with what to say.
I’m totally cool with it and I love being able to tell my story and explain how I fell into that position.
It all started in January of my senior year. I was kind of dating a guy, I was getting ready for college, and I was just enjoying the last little bit of high school but counting down the days until graduation. I walked into church on January 11, not knowing that day would mark the beginning of the rest of my life.
I sat down in the third row with my family just as the meeting was about to start. Everything was normal until the returned missionary stood up at the pulpit and started talking.
He was gorgeous, charming, and spiritual — what more could you want in a man?? I specifically remember thinking, “Oh my gosh, he’s so cute but would NEVER date someone like me. There’s no way.” After listening to his beautiful voice for 20 minutes, he sat down and I carried on with my day. (Fun side note — after the meeting ended, my best friend said to me, “Lindsey, what if you married him?”)
He wasn’t at church the next week, and I honestly kind of forgot about the whole thing. But about two weeks after the homecoming talk, I was hanging out with my friend and I got a call from my sister, Maggie, who was best friends with his sister, Maloree. Maggie told me that Mal’s cute brother from the homecoming talk wanted my number and asked if she could give it to him.
I told Maggie she could give him my number but I had no expectations of him ever texting me. He was older, good-looking, athletic, and pretty much everything I had ever wanted so it would have been way too good to be true. Maybe an hour later, a text from an unknown number popped up on my phone.
And that, friends, was the beginning of something beautiful. The friend I was with at the time was the first to call it — he said, “You’re going to marry this guy.”
Fast forward to March of 2015 and we were planning the wedding. We called the temple, set the date for August 20, and tried to keep things quiet so my school wouldn’t find out I was practically engaged (it didn’t really work).
I learned a lot through this experience and it honestly wasn’t easy. I had to rely heavily on my Father in Heaven to know if I was really doing the right thing and if this was really what I wanted to do. So many outside voices tried talking “sense” into me, saying I’d regret not living my life before settling down. But I didn’t want to live a life without him. If I was going to travel, I wanted to travel with him. If I had to struggle through college, I wanted him by my side. Getting married young was hard but the positive outweighed the negative by far.
I learned a lot of things through this experience that I want to share with you. I learned that judging others is never okay. If someone chooses to get married young and fast, don’t automatically assume they’re crazy or pregnant!!! I learned who my real friends were. When I met Karter and my friends started finding out how serious it was, some of them weren’t okay with it and that was so hard for me. And on the other hand, I learned how important it is to maintain relationships outside of my relationship with Karter. I wanted to spend every waking moment with him, but I should have given my friends more attention during that last part of my senior year too.
And most importantly, I learned that marriage takes a lot of hard work and practice to thrive. Nobody’s perfect — not even your soon-to-be spouse (shocker, I know). You’ll find out during your first few years of marriage that you’re very different from each other and you have to learn how to use your differences as a way to strengthen your marriage. It’s hard, but it’s so important and so worth the extra effort.
I understood the sacredness and responsibility of marriage going into it. I didn’t marry Karter because he was the first returned missionary who paid me any attention or because I just wanted a wedding. I married him because I didn’t want to live my life without him. I wanted him by my side forever, and I’m so grateful I made that decision. The bottom line is that you have to make that decision for yourself. It’s between you, your significant other, and God, and if you feel good about moving forward, DO IT. Don’t be afraid of missing out. Don’t worry what others will think. And remember that things will be hard sometimes, but getting to be with your best friend for eternity is the greatest blessing, even if it comes earlier (or later) than you expected.
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